culinary anarchy

Ok, not culinary anarchy. But, I have got to post because Rachel (or big brother!) is watching. Today while I was at work, waiting for someone to call me about their academic deficiency, I wrote out this whole long post about french toast and ketchup (which I eat. all the time. and it's awesome!). But then, I don't know, I didn't want to post it. I'm a really big fan of food, after all. Picking a favorite meal would be like picking a favorite child. And I don't have children, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to do that.

So, in honor of Mindy Kaling, a blogger I completely adore, even though she never updates, I am going to do a list. Things I've Eaten That I Love.

1. Aromat :
Fact: Aromat is not a food; it's a seasoning. But, it is probably the most important thing in my life, barring family, Shakespeare, and the E! hollywood channel. I am fairly certain that my body is 65% Aromat. (I can only think about stuff like body composition because I just finished reading Stiff today). I put Aromat on everything. Everything. I put it on french toast (which kind of legitimizes the ketchup). I put it on popcorn. I put it on vegetables. All I'm saying is, the South Africans are going directly to heaven for making this stuff. Ok, maybe they'll need to come up with a little more than seasoning salt to make up for apartheid. But this, I think, is considerable progress.




2. French fries and Brown Gravy
Sadly, I cannot find a picture of this glorious food experience, because the Canadians are being particularly pushy with the Poutine pictures. But realistically, there is no need for cheese curds, you silly Canadians. The fries and the gravy don't need any help. They are perfect. The last time I went home, I requested this for dinner, and it literally cured my father of the common cold. Probably because it was so delicious.

3. The Code Red Slurpee
I am so pro-Slurpee, I cannot even describe it in words. I am addicted. I come by it honestly though, because my father is a hard-cord devotee and he is a full-blown grown-up.

Code Red is by far the superior Slurpee flavor. It is like, the Aryan race of Slurpees. It CITRUS and CHERRY. Oh my god you guys, it is so good. And 7-11 has obviously discontinued the flavor, because they are intimidated by its greatness. I could seriously consume multiple jumbo slurpees of this stuff. Fact: I have been known to drink 80 oz of this stuff within a 24 hour period. It's that good.





4. Walker's Prawn Cocktail Crisps
These things are so good. I cannot even believe I wasted so much of my life eating salt and vinegar crisps. (Note: I am not trying to be pompous by say crisps, I only call the food items created by Walker's "crisps". Normally, I say chips. Especially if they are made by Americans.) Anyway, my mum has always been a big fan of these, and for a really long time I made fun of her for eating fish chips. I mean, seriously? Gross. But as it turns out, the fine gentlemen at Walker's aren't making fish chips. They're making cocktail sauce chips! Which I don't know, seems a little bit better at least. Anyway, whoever came up with that idea is a genius, because they are salty deliciousness come to life. Yum.

5. Marmite
I could write a whole post about Marmite. Now, I realize I am one of like, twelve people who find English food to be good/tasty/generally awesome. But I mean, come on people. The Brits know good food. The sausage roll? The mince pie? MARMITE?

Many people actually use marmite to prove the British inability to create appetizing food. Well, they use marmite, and haggis, and black pudding. I'm not going to go to bat for haggis or black pudding, because that stuff is Scottish, and no one can really be held accountable for the Scots. It's very cold up there. They should be able to do whatever they want. But I would probably be willing to fight to the death to protect the honor of marmite. I am pretty sure you have to be raised on this stuff to be a fan*. Now, granted, marmite looks like tar. I am pretty sure it's scraped off the bottom of Guinness barrels (or was, originally). But it is absolutely delicious. It's really hard to describe the taste, other than it's salty (um, everything in this list is salty. except for the slurpee. that would just be gross. But I think it's pretty safe to say I have a salt-loving problem.) Here are a few reasons why marmite is awesome:

a. there is no expiration date. it lasts forever. in fact, marmite was a major staple in the bomb shelters during WWII. You literally sat in the tube stations and ate marmite sandwiches! I'm sure that made everyone feel better about being bombed.
b. you can eat it at any time of the day! marmite toast is a breakfast staple, which has been really convenient for me, because I don't like most breakfast foods.
c. you can use marmite to make so many things! Marmite sandwiches, marmite on toast, and even marmite broth (which in fact is very comforting when you're sick. Unless you don't like marmite, in which case it would probably only make things worse.)
d. The marmite TOASTIE! Ok, that is something you can make with marmite, but it is so good, it deserves to be set apart from the rest. It's like a grilled cheese, but with marmite instead of the cheese. OH MAN! It's like a hug, but food.



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*I've only encountered one exception to this rule: Lauren Clark. My mum gave Lauren like, a marmite sandwich or something, and she actually liked it enough to buy some marmite of her own. This is certainly not the only reason we're friends, but it does make Lauren one of the most awesome people I know.